


find the words to say goodbye

by renecdote



Series: hc_bingo 2017 [12]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Brotherly Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Sacrifice, because I need more of it between these two, tim is a good brother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 17:27:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12916734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renecdote/pseuds/renecdote
Summary: Tim sacrifices himself to Ra’s al Ghul to save Damian from his grandfather’s plans. Damian wishes he hadn’t.





	find the words to say goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: “You’re family” tim & dami. This also fills the “sacrifice” square on my h/c bingo card.

“Why would you do this?” It’s the only question Damian can think to ask, even though there are surely more important ones. Like how Timothy knew where to find him, why he thought coming alone was a good idea, whether he actually thought his stupid plan through, who he’s trying to prove a point to. Because surely he must be proving a point to do something this colossally stupid. Is it Damian? Is it his grandfather? His Father? Timothy himself?

His grandfather had only given them five minutes, though, and that’s not enough time to waste any of it on things like details. Not when it could be the last five minutes he spends with his brother, for a long time if not forever. Ra’s al Ghul is usually serious about his death threats, but he seems to like Timothy for whatever twisted reason, so Damian is confident that if anyone can convince the Demon’s Head not to make them brain dead and possess their body it’s him.

Of course, he’d rather Timothy hadn’t stepped forward to take Damian’s place in his grandfather’s maniacal plan at all. He’d rather they could have just escaped the League and gone home together. But wishes cannot change what had already happened.

“You’re family,” Timothy says. It’s not reassuring the way Richard would be, not offhanded the way Jason would be, not sweet the way Cassandra would be. He just… says it. Like he’s reporting facts about a case, or commenting on the weather (“sunny with a chance of human sacrifice”). “Bruce’s family and Dick’s family, and all the others too. They need you to go home safe and sound.”

The words don’t even make Damian feel pleased or uncomfortable anymore. Being needed and wanted, being _family_ , is something he’s become used to in the last eight years. What squeezes at his chest now is the way Timothy says it like he doesn’t have stakes in it too.

“You imbecile,” Damian hisses, gloved hands clenching at his sides so he doesn’t give into the urge to reach out and shake Red Robin by his stupid bandoliers. “You are family too! Think of how Richard and Father and everyone else will feel when I get back and tell them you sacrificed yourself to Ra’s al Ghul. They will be devastated. Does that mean nothing to you?”

Timothy should get indignant or defensive, but instead a small smile flickers over his face. “They’ll understand,” he says with conviction. “They would do the same thing if they were here.”

Damian has no valid argument for that because it’s true. His father would give himself up a thousand times for his children. Richard, too. Any of his siblings would sacrifice themselves if it meant saving someone important to them.

“They’ll hate you,” he says anyway, because Damian is nothing if not argumentative. And if he doesn’t get angry about this he’s probably going to cry instead, and such emotional displays are unacceptable while still in his grandfather’s compound. “ _I’ll_ hate you.” _For giving up and being a sacrificial idiot and- and-_

Timothy doesn’t get angry back. Damian wishes he would; it would be better than the strangely calm look on his face right now. “That’s okay,” and he has to gall to sound _happy_ about it, “You can hate me as long as you want if it means you’re still alive to do it.”

Damian shakes his head. His fingers are curled so tightly now that they ache. That’s not what he meant. He doesn’t want to hate Timothy. He put in so much effort, endured so many of Richard’s brotherly bonding activities, to get along well with the youngest of his older siblings. And it had been a surprise to discover how easily they actually did, how easy it became to go to Timothy with problems, how easy it became to enjoy working with Red Robin. He does not want to throw that all away; he doesn’t want it to end. And he doesn’t understand why Timothy would be okay with that happening when they’ve gotten out of worse situations before.

But, now that it matters, he does not know how to say that. He can’t find the words for the warm feeling in his heart associated with fragmented memories of teaming up to prank Jason, or playing an inane clapping game to keep themselves awake when Penguin locked them in a freezer, or drinking hot cocoa at four a.m. because nightmares kept them both awake, or stumbling into the Cave with a bleeding Red Robin leaning on his shoulder and suddenly noticing that they were the same height. He doesn’t want to find the words for how much knowing those moments will only be fragmented memories hurts, not when he knows those words won’t be enough to convince Timothy not to sacrifice himself as long as he knows it will mean saving Damian.

He hugs him instead. Steps forward and wraps his arms around Timothy’s shoulders, feels hands come up to grip the back of his cape. The hug is not tearful or clingy. It’s not imbued with whispered promises that everything is going to be alright. It’s not anything remarkable except maybe a second longer than any other hugs they’ve shared. It’s almost enough to convince Damian that it doesn’t mean goodbye.

And then ninjas are swarming around them and time is up. They’re being pulled in opposite directions, one deeper into the compound, one toward the exit, and Damian opens his mouth because he knows, suddenly, that it doesn’t matter what the right words are, just that he doesn’t let this moment end without saying anything.

But Ra’s has already swept Timothy into the darkness and the only audience to his desperate “please, I don’t want you to do this” are black-garbed servants who couldn’t care less that Damian doesn’t want his brother to be a selfless hero. They throw him out into the snow uncaring that he doesn’t want to be the rescued victim who regrets forever that his continued life came at the expense of his rescuer. They slam the gates closed uncaring that he feels lost and devastated and angry because he didn’t need a hero, he needed a brother. It was just his bad luck that he got both.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr is [here](%E2%80%9Ctantalum-cobalt.tumblr.com%E2%80%9D).


End file.
